Bottle Up The Crazy

Nailed It. [Updated]

by Jenn on May 9, 2013

I’ve been studying my ass off for the last two algebra tests, and I’m happy to report that it has paid off. Some might think that redoing my homework over and over until I get every single one right is a little OCD, but it worked. I feel great about the chapters four and five. Unfortunately, I’m much less confident about chapters six and seven (geometry). Though the manfriend showed me an easier way to tackle some of the geometry stuff without worrying about stupid shapes (hello ratios, nice to meet you).

Today is my algebra final. I’m so relieved that it’s almost over. I tried studying for the final, but every time I sat down with my books I became so overwhelmed. I’m amazed at what I’ve been able to retain, considering algebra is the bane of my existence. So I’m putting less pressure on myself for the final. Right now, I have an A in the class. I think I can pass the final with a B.

I hope to have a few hours free this afternoon to review quickly before heading into the test. Maybe I’ll surprise myself again and wrap up this semester with a 4.0. Even though this class doesn’t count, it’d be a huge boost to my confidence as I’ve decided to take one more math class before heading into the radiology program.

Wish me luck!

[Update: Despite doing not-so-awesome on my final (a 78 percent), I still walked away with an A in the class. Goodbye forever, Algebra.]

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On High School, Facebook Stalking, and Force-Fed Formulas

by Jenn on May 7, 2013

I received a post card from my high school the other day, asking me to contact them to update my personal information with the alumni relations department. Apparently the school — which went from all-girls to coed two short years after I graduated — is putting together a super yearbook for the all-boys/all-girls schools that joined to form what’s now, Guerin Prep.

Anyway, after holding onto this card for about a week, I finally called yesterday. I had hoped for an automated menu (press 1 for achievement-less), but instead I was greeted by a real person. Of ALL the times. After covered the basics, we started talking degrees, marriage, and children. I had nothing to contribute to that conversation.

Besides, I didn’t think she wanted to hear about my 23 moves or my high score in Candy Crush. After admitting my lackluster post-high school achievements, the lady went on to try to sell me a copy of this book for two payments of $49.95 each. “It features alumni from 1965 through 2012…” Wait. Why would I want to pay $100 to compare myself to people I don’t even know?

“We can send you just your class, if that interests you…” Everything I want to know about my classmates can be found on Facebook and LinkedIn. For free. I hung up feeling down because I didn’t have anything special to report, and because I didn’t help them by spending $100 on a yearbook. Believe me, if I could help every high school, rainforest, polar bear, starving kid, and abused animal, I would.

High school just wasn’t a big deal for me. Sure, I had fun. There was plenty of drama, memorable moments, and life lessons learned. But I’d rather look back at other moments in my life (and Facebook stalk for free). I mean, am I missing some bigger purpose here? I

Speaking of school, my algebra final is this Thursday. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about it. I’m so ready for this class to be over. It’s time to move on to more interesting things. Hopefully once I’m done force-feeding myself formulas I’ll actually have some free time to write. Almost all of my free time has been spent re-doing past homework assignments and taking chapter exams to make sure I know this stuff. I still don’t feel like I do.

And it certainly doesn’t help that my teacher has completely ignored our math book for the last week. We’re so far behind in class that he missed the opportunity to give us two more tests and a quiz. That also means we haven’t learned that material for the final. I’ll tell you one thing, I certainly won’t be looking back at this class with fond memories in 10 years.

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I don’t care too much for money

by Jenn on April 10, 2013

Two days ago I was $300 away from being completely debt-free.

In less than two years I had brought nearly $10,000 in debt down to $300. It wasn’t fun (at one point I had three jobs) but seeing that number decrease each month (and my credit score increase) was rewarding. I realize that $10,000 isn’t much compared to people with years of student loans, but finances have always been a sore spot for me. I just wanted a clean slate — something I haven’t had in 10 years.

A couple of weeks ago I sold my car. It had been giving me so many problems, and with the manfriend’s car, we really didn’t need two. It helps that public transportation is so convenient in Chicago — this would never fly in Los Angeles. I was hoping to get around $1,000 for the car, but I ended up with $3,500 thanks to its low mileage. All but $100 of it went to debt. It made a huge dent and left me with a much more manageable figure: $300.

Unfortunately, timing is never on my side. Summer and fall registration opened today. With only one more payment to go, I added another $1,200 to my debt (not including book fees). Granted, that’s not a lot, and without a ton of other bills I’ll be able to knock this tab down relatively quickly. But do you know how nice it would have been to see a big ZERO on my Mint account? Even though I got myself out of debt (for the most part) I feel like I’ve been robbed of the reward — some might say that being debt-free IS the reward, but I’m a visual person.

Making matters worse, I’m required to take an Intro to Micro Computers class which is essentially teaching me the in’s and out’s of Microsoft Office products. Pretty sure I could pass that class in my sleep. If I’ve been working on/with computers for 10+ years, why do I need this class? It’s such a waste of money. Money that could have gone toward books for more relevant classes, or something I’ve been craving lately: a massage. Ah, but that’s just how the Chicago community college system works. Crushing students’ spirits since forever.

Anyway, with my debt-free goal a little farther off than I had hoped, I still plan on seeing that zero by the end of the summer semester. Come July 24th, I won’t owe anyone anything. Except love and all that other intangible junk.

P.S. Thank you Jim Carrey for everything. Literally, everything.

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All Aboard the Crazy Train! Next Stop: A-town

by Jenn on April 3, 2013

It’s incredible what one five-credit-hour math class can do to your self-esteem. If you’re ever flying high and need to be taken down a peg, I recommend enrolling in a college algebra class. You know, assuming you’re terrible at math. If you’re like the manfriend who loves getting analytical and logical, then maybe you should take an art class and calm down.

I can’t believe that there are only five weeks left of the semester. I didn’t expect it to go by so quickly considering I’m only taking one class, but there it went! And here I am, questioning my entire life because algebra is a bitchy bitch. Okay, maaaybe not my entire life, but just enough of it to feel like I have no idea what I’m doing.

Yesterday we got the results back from a test we took two weeks ago. By my standards I had failed my previous test so a lot was riding on this one. To make matters worse, when my African uncle hands back the tests, he says “good girl/boy” to those students who scored high. If I don’t get rewarded when my test is handed back, I automatically assumed that I was the student who scored a four percent — yes, someone actually did that.

Fortunately, it wasn’t me. In fact, I was among the top three scorers in the class. (If you’re keeping track, I got a “very good girl” when I collected my test.) I spent a week and a half obsessing over this test. I even wrote down the equations so I could go over them at home, confirming whether or not I got the correct answer. I deserved an A on this test, and by my teacher’s standards, I did get an A.

Right now, if I’m calculating my grade correctly, I’m smack-dab in the middle of the B zone for my overall grade. If I drop my lowest quiz and test, I’m at a low A. The grading in this class is so ridiculously lax. When I see these number grades on my returned papers, I’m convinced that I’m doing poorly. Then I start to questions things I already know because obviously I’m doing something wrong if I’m not getting between a 90 and 100 on everything. That just leads to a whole destructive cycle of binge factoring and late-night graphing sessions. NO ONE LIKES AN ALGEBRA ADDICT.

I’m at a place now where I finally feel like something is clicking. I do remember learning everything back in high school, and some of it might actually be making sense now. HOWEVER, that could just be the A-test talking. I get cocky after seeing things like that. This is where it gets personal. Now that I know I’m capable of an A, anything else is unacceptable. Yes, my goal is to pass this class. But if I can do that with an A, well even better.

My therapist is shaking her head right about now, reminding me about the epic amount of unnecessary pressure that I place on myself. Save it for the final, lady! I’m on the crazy train to A-town!

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2013 Reading Goals

by Jenn on April 1, 2013

Every year since 2007 I have challenged myself to read 50 books in 365 days, and each year I have fallen short of that goal. In 2012, I decided to dramatically reduce that goal to 10, and I’m happy to report that I ended up reading 28 books. Not only did I feel like I actually achieved something, but I also found a few new favorite titles. You can see 2012′s reading progress here, here, and here.

My goal for 2013 is to read 20 books, and I think I’m going to surpass it. Now here is where it gets tricky. I have a hard time counting comic books toward my goal. However, if it’s a collection of issues (a volume) then I feel better about using it. Thanks to that exception, I’ve completed 16 books and it’s only April.

In four months I’ve read:

1. American Vampire (volume 4)

2-3. Iron Man: Extremis — I also read The Invincible Iron Man which pales in comparison to Extremis. If you’re an Iron Man fan, I definitely recommend the former.

4-11. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 8) — This picks up where the TV show left off. However, it strayed from the Buffy we all know and love and as a result, I have a love/hate relationship with this series. It gets a little outrageous a few volumes in, but it was so great to see my favorite characters again. It’s been too long, Whedon. Too long.

12. Frozen Heat by Richard Castle — This is the fourth installment in the Castle books. If you don’t already know, when Castle puts out a book in the TV show, it’s actually published. The books are like longer versions of episodes, so if you enjoy the show, you’ll dig the novels.

13. Does This Mean You’ll See Me Naked? by Robert D. Webster — In this, the author shares “entertaining and quirky stories gleaned from a life lived around death.” As someone considering a career in mortuary science, this was a must-read. Beyond that, it definitely piqued my morbid curiosity. He does a good job of portraying a dark, almost taboo topic in a really lighthearted way.

14. Why Can’t I Be You? by Allie Larkin — This is a fantastic read, and I’m not just saying that because Allie is a blogger pal of mine. She creates characters that are easy to relate to, which also made it hard to put the book down. After only a few chapters, I already wanted to cry, kick someone, laugh, and hug a stranger. If you loved her first book, Stay, then I promise you’ll love this one as well.

15-16. Deja Dead and Death Du Jour by Kathy Reichs — These are the first two books in Reichs’ series, which inspired the TV show Bones. I’ve been meaning to read these for years and I’m finally getting around to it now. Much like the show, the books follow a forensic anthropologist and her team. Reichs has a habit of getting too wordy in areas (resulting in me skimming some pages), but the stories are addictive. Like the show? You’ll dig the books.

Having just wrapped up #16, I’m going to start Buffy the Vampire Slayer season nine this week. Only two volumes are out currently, but the third is due in May I believe. I also have the third Reichs book on hold at the library (there are several). I’m also really looking forward to the third Veronica Roth book, which comes out later this fall.

Recently I told the manfriend that we don’t have any happy books in our collection. I think I need to mix in some lighthearted reads this spring. Suggestions welcome!

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20SB Blogging Prompt: Show Us Your…

March 21, 2013

This week’s blogging prompt is to show off your book collection. As an avid book-sniffer, I tend to keep quite a few books nearby. Side note: did you ever notice that no one really uses “avid” outside of obituaries. If you use it on a regular basis, let me know so I can update my [...]

I’m halfway there. Where? To knowing what I want.

March 20, 2013

{via} A little over four months have passed since deciding to go back to school. I’m happy to report that I actually followed through with that plan, and am now smack-dab in the middle of an algebra class. It hasn’t been without its challenges. Not only is algebra incredibly dull and challenging, but my classmates [...]

I think I’m being haunted by a malevolent Jewish ghost

March 15, 2013

{via} I haven’t felt very much like myself these past few months. I’m tired, cranky, unmotivated, anti-social, and on the verge of tears at any given moment. Not all days, but most days. I recently started seeing a therapist again, but that’s mainly for my various anxieties. My boyfriend thinks I could be depressed, and [...]

20SB Blogging Prompt: My Favorite Photograph

March 5, 2013

This week’s 20SB Blogging Prompt is to share your favorite photograph. It’s a tough challenge because I’m a) terrible at picking favorites, and b) super indecisive. If I spend too much time digging through all of the photos on my computer and phone and inside albums, this post will never get published. Instead, I gave [...]

Fun Facts aka Chapter Ideas for the Book I’m Writing in My Head

February 28, 2013

My first non-retail job outside of college was writing obituaries for a small-town newspaper. Once, the funeral home called me and asked that I tell the family their recently deceased wasn’t eligible for body donation because of some bacterial infection. Holy outside-of-my-scope Batman! I also pieced together the comics and horoscope pages. I have never [...]

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