My grandparents are the funniest people I know, hands down.
The other day I worked from their house while awaiting a delivery from UPS. Minutes after my arrival my grandma told me about the cherries she stole from the grocery store. Hey, it happens. Sometimes you realize that you forgot an item in your cart, yada yada.
Except this wasn’t an accident. Oh no, my grandma just wanted to try the cherries because she had never had this particular kind before. Let ye who has never sampled a piece of produce throw the first stone.
Actually wait, don’t judge my grandma. She’s Canadian. She didn’t know any better.
Now my grandpa is a do-gooder. If someone were to cut him off while driving he’d think they had somewhere really important to be, like the hospital, and wave them along. On the other hand, I would curse that person out while waving a very sarcastic “you’re welcome!” at them.
My gramps is also the type of person to question the most random things. For example, do ladybugs have tongues? Why, when cutting toast, does a half seem so much smaller than cutting it in two triangles? Why spell “flour” and “flower” differently if they sound the same?
So when he responded to my grandma’s thievery with “Why didn’t you steal three?” I was flabbergasted. Rather than comment on the stealing, he was more concerned that there wasn’t enough for all three of us. Oh gramps… you sweet man, you.
Naturally we sliced the cherries so each of us could try a piece. Turns out, they didn’t really taste like cherries after all. In fact, I was convinced that they were tiny peaches. Or nectarines. (Surely I’m wrong.) Whatever they were, they provided us with a good laugh over lunch.
Here’s my grandma looking oh so proud of her forbidden fruit:
Moral of the story: If you’ve never tried it, it’s okay to steal it. Hm, I don’t think I’ve ever had lobster before…